[She flinches away at the touch, but she tries to muffle the next sob against her knees, pulls her arms tighter around her legs and tries to hide her face behind them.]
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry--
[It's just like a mantra, the words don't even sound like words in her head. All she can register is that she doesn't want him to cry, she doesn't want to be the one who does that to him. Like she was the one who made Layton do what he did to her. Because it had to be her, didn't it? Layton was Layton, he never would have decided to do something like that if she hadn't been such an awful person. It must have been against his whole gentlemanly thing, mustn't it? She'd done that. It'd been her fault, she'd pushed him into it. She'd done everything, she'd fucked with him with her plans and she'd fucked with him literally, and she'd been the one person awful enough that he'd snapped.
And now she's going to make her double cry, and right now that feels like an even worse mistake. Because she's awful, and he shouldn't care, should he? Nobody else ever has. He shouldn't care, but he does, and she's awful enough that she's going to make him cry, even though he's the one person who cares about her. Trying to bite back another sob, Descole resorts to biting down on her arm, shaking as she tries to muffle the sound. Once it passes, she lifts her head just slightly, though she keeps her eye clamped shut and doesn't look at him.]
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I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry--
[It's just like a mantra, the words don't even sound like words in her head. All she can register is that she doesn't want him to cry, she doesn't want to be the one who does that to him. Like she was the one who made Layton do what he did to her. Because it had to be her, didn't it? Layton was Layton, he never would have decided to do something like that if she hadn't been such an awful person. It must have been against his whole gentlemanly thing, mustn't it? She'd done that. It'd been her fault, she'd pushed him into it. She'd done everything, she'd fucked with him with her plans and she'd fucked with him literally, and she'd been the one person awful enough that he'd snapped.
And now she's going to make her double cry, and right now that feels like an even worse mistake. Because she's awful, and he shouldn't care, should he? Nobody else ever has. He shouldn't care, but he does, and she's awful enough that she's going to make him cry, even though he's the one person who cares about her. Trying to bite back another sob, Descole resorts to biting down on her arm, shaking as she tries to muffle the sound. Once it passes, she lifts her head just slightly, though she keeps her eye clamped shut and doesn't look at him.]
Double. Please-- make it stop, double...